The First Trimester

Dear Sweet Babe (or Babes) of Ours,

Your dad and I are so excited about soon squeezing you and showering you with kisses.  Your older brothers are so giddy about sharing toys with you, letting you wear their Superman costume, and wrestling with you.  We pray for you each night.  You were made to be part of our family, and we will do our best to make sure you are in our arms as soon as possible.

We have gotten through the paperwork pregnancy and are one day closer to hugging you.  On to the next trimester...the approval of Immigration and referral...

Love you, love you, love you!

Finished with Home Study Report

Woohoooooo!  Our social worker, Hallie, notified us last night that our report was complete and would soon be sent by email to our agency, International Family Services!  This is a major milestone in that it enables us to submit our application to the US Immigration Service.  It will take one to two months to receive an approval letter from them, at which point we will tell Moldova we would like to be matched with a child.  Over the next week, Richard Price, the COO for my agency, will work to fine tune our submission to Immigration to ensure efficiency.  Then George and I will await our assigned time to be fingerprinted.

"Test everything.  Hold on to the good.  Avoid every kind of evil."  I Thessalonians 5:21-22

Ready, Set, Wait!

Monday is the big day!  Hallie will come to the house to meet the boys and check out the house.  We will complete our final class on Monday night.  George has his physical with Dr. Missy Hixson between the home visit and class.  Our background checks are in from all states, including California!  Thank you, Lord, for making these pieces come together.  When Hallie completes the report, we move into the immigration process and wait to begin our dossier documents.  Every day we are one day closer to the babes God made to be part of our family!

"I waited patiently for the Lord; He turned to me and heard my cry."  Psalm 40:1

What's in a Name?

Each night Elliot and Gavin write in their prayer journals and reflect upon who and what they are thankful for and/or want to lift up in prayer.  Tonight while praying for "our little brother in Moldova," Elliot said, "Let's name him Zachary.  If we get two brothers, we can have a George, too!"  I reminded him that we had two in our home with the name George.  Gavin suggested Zick...Zick and Zach!  Upon further discussion, Elliot decided on Zach and Spencer.  He wrote the following on a sheet of paper and presented it to me:

Elliot
Zach
Spencer
Gavin
4 brothers

Lord, please have Your hand in even the naming of our son or sons.  You already know who they are and what we should call them.  Help them to always know they were meant to be part of our family.  That is who You made them to be.  Regardless of the first names we give them, they will be Hamptons.  Thank you for sending them to us!

"I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh."  Ezekiel 36:26

Pushing Forward

Yesterday was a big day for us in that we met with Hallie Bishop for our individual and couple interviews. For about an hour and a half, we had a chance to reflect as Hallie asked us about our marriage, our views on parenting, our values, and our own backgrounds. We left feeling so grateful for the family God has already built for us and the one He continues to build. Thank you, God, for being "mighty to save"! I handed over a lot of paperwork and was excited to have so many checks on my list and a few items left to target.

We returned last night for adoption education from 5:30-8. We have two nights of class to go and a home visit. Every day we are one step closer to hugging our new little babe(s)!

"Choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve...But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord."  Joshua 24:15

A prayer by Dawn Davenport from The Complete Book on International Adoption

I pray that all children will be loved for who they are, for no reason other than that they are.
I pray that all children will be loved as first best, not second best; that they will be loved with an intensity that can move mountains, because life will present plenty of mountains that will need to be moved.
I pray that all children will have someone who will...
...seek them, and only them, out of the crowd on the stage;
...push them to reach for their goals and discover their unique gifts;
....hold them accountable for their actions with love and dignity;
...advocate for them through this maze called life;
...explain the unexplainable; and
...smile when they walk into the room, just because they did.
Mostly I pray that all children will have someone who knows them well enough and loves them deeply enough to see the divine spar that is unique in them.
I pray that this be the birthright of all children through out the world. And since this birthright can only be fulfilled by parents, I pray that each child, regardless of the circumstances of their birth, finds their parent and each parent finds their child.
Thanks, God.
Amen.

The Paperwork Pregnancy Begins

Yes, sign me up! Now, what do you need from me?

What our Home Study Agency needs from us...

Background Checks for each state where you have resided since the age of 18 years...Ohio (both of us), Mississippi (Danielle), Alabama (Danielle), Illinois (both of us), Tennessee (both of us), California (both of us), Iowa (George), Minnesota (George), Florida (George), Pennsylvania (George). If only all states would agree about one form and process!

Medical Exams...George--scheduled, Danielle--scheduled, Elliot--had it done in past twelve months, Gavin--had it done in past twelve months.

Birth and marriage proof...Certified birth certificates--Danielle and George, certified marriage certificate, Copies of birth certificates--Elliot and Gavin

Questionnaires...Adoption questionnaires, Marriage questionnaires, Autobiographies for George and Danielle

Finances...Tax returns, Personal Financial Review, W-2 statements, Employment letter/verification/income

Insurance...Life insurance policies for George and Danielle, Medical insurance proof

Passports...Copies of passports for George and Danielle

Driver's Licenses...Copies of driver's licenses for George and Danielle

Family photograph--Easy one!!!

Classes scheduled--May 7, May 14, May 21

Interviews with social worker--George, Danielle, as a couple, as a family in our home, home safety review

"All hard work brings a profit, but mere talk leads only to poverty." Proverbs 14:23

Tracking the Delivery

We have officially submitted our application and contract to International Family Services. After meeting with notary Diane Reese at Morgan Stanley, we sent our packet by Express Mail to Texas. Our first hurdle in what we have been told could be a long journey was tracking the package until it reached the IFS office. Having been sent on Friday, delivery was expected by Monday. The USPS tried to deliver it on Saturday and discovered only a doctor's office. After George made a few phone calls on Monday when the internet tracking said "undeliverable," Patsy at the small post office said she had tried to deliver it, but it appeared to be a doctor's office. Someone in the post office confirmed that it is a doctor's office with suites for other companies as well, IFS being one of them. She apologized and made sure it was delivered on Monday by 3pm. We were officially the first family enrolled in the Moldova program at IFS!

"Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow.  What is your life?  You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.  Instead, you ought to say, 'If it is the Lord's will, we will live and do this or that.'"  James 4:14-15

The Gates are Open!

I talked to Carol Mardock today about finishing up the adoption application.  I shared with her that we planned to list Bulgaria as our first choice and Moldova as our second.  If Moldova opens in the near future, we would want to switch programs.  She informed me that if we knew we wanted Moldova, we should list it as first since it had officially OPENED!  I began to cry as I explained that George had told me that God would open Moldova for us.  "You of little faith," he would say as I tried to convince him that Bulgaria was a better choice.  It, in fact, was actually open to adoption.  Now here I was facing the beauty of God's majesty as Moldova doors opened the adoption gates.  The children would be eligible for adoption at 24 months, and no one is in the line up yet.

I also shared with Carol that George and I planned to gain qualification for up to three siblings.  She laughed as she told us there may be twins waiting for us.  After all, George and I had just known that we were supposed to have had twins...maybe it is through adoption not birth that we are supposed to have them!

Have to get to work on the home study!

"For great is your love, higher than the heavens; your faithfulness reaches to the skies."
Psalm 108:4

The $58 Launch

Certified marriage certificate $8
Certified birth certificate for George $24
Certified birth certificate for Danielle $26
Total of items ordered to launch adoption process on Monday $58

Total of unexpected letter from the Treasury of TN for a refund due from Cincinnati Bell from our time as residents there in 2006 (received on Saturday) $58.40

Coincidence? I think not! Praise God for having His hand in all the small details of life!

"My God will meet all your needs according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus."
Philippians 4:19

Full Steam Ahead...Slowly

We are moving forward! We set up an appointment with Catholic Charities to discuss the home study process. I ordered a certified marriage certificate from one state, a certified birth certificate for myself from another state, and a certified birth certificate for George from yet another state (very easily I may add...which was kind of disturbing...didn't even have to give a copy of my ID. If I was willing to fill out a form and pay, they were willing to give me the birth certificate for another person!) We are bracing for the longest pregnancy ever. We may have two years (or more) ahead of us before we are squeezing a new little dude. Elliot and Gavin have already agreed to share their toys, but Gavin said he can't share his food. We are working on him...

The Signs

While other friends prayed along with me that our hearts would be open to whatever God's will was for us, God was at work in ways both that were obvious and not so obvious to me. I was in Nashville feeling as though God was shouting about adoption to me. I would take the kids to gymnastics, and I would see a banner for "Show Hope," the foundation started by the Chapman family to help orphans and aid in adoption expenses. I would turn on the radio and hear an advertisement for Compassion International. I would have a conversation, and it would always seem to turn to the topic of adoption. I would walk past the front desk at the YMCA, and an ad for "Both Hands," a group that helps widows and orphans, would pop up.

Meanwhile, George was sitting at a bar in California sharing a beer with our friend Jake. Jake and George had become friends through church, where Jake was a pastor. I had gotten to know his wife Joan through our Moms' group. Jake shared with George that they were waiting on a match for a domestic adoption that would come any day. George was feeling the tug himself.

When he came home to Nashville, we committed to being prayerful and exploring the idea of adoption for our own family. Every night after putting Elliot and Gavin to bed, we found ourselves reading everything we could on the internet, requesting information from various agencies, looking at pictures and video of orphanages, and envisioning aloud how a new little person would become part of our fun, crazy family.

We began to ask others to pray for us, no longer feeling as though we needed to be completely quiet about the heavy burden on our hearts.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding.  In all your ways, submit to Him, and He will make your path straight."  Proverbs 3:5-6

Seeds to Grow

When I was about ten, my Aunt Jean and Uncle Gene welcomed a new daughter into their family, my cousin Jenny. My cousins Scot, Kim and Chip all became part of my family through domestic adoption. Weeks prior to my wedding, my cousin Theresa and her family made a journey to China to pick up the daughter born to be a La Du, my cousin Tori. A few years later, Theresa's sister Susan and her family traveled to Guatemala before the country was closed to adoption and met Micah, the boy born to be their son. None of these necessarily made me think about adoption for my own family, but all three made adoption a natural part of my extended family. I often joked that I would love to one day have the family God designed as depicted in the song, "Red and yellow, black and white, they are precious in His sight, Jesus loves the little children of the world."

Then came Emily. I was leading Bible study for women with "Babes-in-Arms" when Emily was introduced with her infant son.  I was thinking she looked way too good to have just had a baby when she shared that her son was adopted. Because breast cancer years ago had forced her to have chemo, she was unable to carry her own child.  God knew all along that her son, whose middle name was "Matthew" meaning "Gift from God," would be delivered to sweet Emily and her hubby through another young woman's womb.  He was born to be their son.

I learned from my friend Mary that all three of her wonderful grown children had been adopted. She shared a specific story about her son's birth mother coming to visit and the sense that God's hand was in it all.  Another friend, Joan, from my Mom's group at church shared with me that they were in the process of domestic adoption.  As I pondered the idea of adoption aloud, I was encouraged by my friend Aimie to read Forever Lily, a story in which a woman traveled to China as an observer of the adoption process only to become an adoptive parent herself...twice.

Still, I simply remained intrigued by the beauty of adoption.  George and I were blessed to have been given two beautiful, rambunctious sons. Perhaps we would have more. Perhaps not. Why would adoption be a consideration for a family like ours?  Pregnancy, after all, had been fun for me.  I love how strangers give you that big smile when they determine your big belly is actually a tiny human growing on the inside.

Fast forward to my quaint neighborhood in Nashville, Tennessee.  One of the first neighbors to greet me was Becky, who was hosting a garage sale to raise money, so she and her husband could adopt a little cutie from China within the next year.  Like my cousin Theresa had years before, Becky spoke of her "pull" toward China to pick up the baby girl waiting for her. I quickly became friends with Kristen at the neighborhood pool, who had adopted a beautiful little baby girl within the past couple years.  Watching the family interact, I just couldn't imagine their baby Grace not being part of it.  I met Jake, a cheerful, athletic young man across the street, whose dad Kyle shared the story of Jake's adoption experience.  Then there was Virginia, whose family had welcomed a precious little dude from Russia recently. When August rolled around, I was assigned to be in Tracy's group at Bible study. Tracy and her husband had adopted five children from Ethiopia. After fielding a lot of my questions, she shared the book Adopted for Life with me. I couldn't help but fly through it. Russell Moore (fellow Mississippian, I might add) painted an amazing picture of adoption as he discussed our adoption into the family of Jesus Christ. He and his wife had adopted two little guys from Russia as well as having three biological sons. Although now may not be the right time for us, I asked Tracy to pray about our openness to adoption, whether it be domestic or international.

When September threw us into soccer season, we were reunited with our old friends Brad and Penny on the sidelines.  Penny shared that they had completed the process to become foster parents.  I was again reminded that there are little people out there who were longing for family to love on them.  Then I started to notice the ache in my own heart more intensely for the little person who was made to be part of our own family.

Then there was Sue Talia, the woman who sat next to me on an airplane and shared her family's story of being a foster family. She spoke of the joy and the torment, but I knew that God had placed her there to continue to grow the whisper I was hearing about what He was calling our family to do.

I was still driving others crazy talking about Adopted for Life when another friend, Belle, shared not only that she and her family were in the process of adopting from Uganda but that I had to read Kisses from Katie by Katie Davis, a girl from Nashville who had moved to Uganda to care for orphans. I was humbled by her willingness to submit to such a level of servanthood because of the call of Christ. She was called, and she said, "Here I am, Lord." Reading her book gave me a new perspective on my ability to give more of myself. Was I holding back simply because of my fear of not being able to juggle it all in the perfect manner I preferred to do it?  It wasn't about "saving a child," but rather about answering God's call to simply go pick up the little one He knew from the beginning of time was supposed to be part of and help to shape the Hampton family from here forward.

Then while passing the "Orphans and Widows" table at Covenant Presbyterian Church, I decided to check out The Strength of Mercy by Jan Beazley. The book continued the tug on my heart to seek out an opportunity to love on another little person who may otherwise grow up in an orphanage, never having known the love of a family, the hugs of a mom and dad and two big brothers. I also grabbed a three-page summary of adoption agencies and their contact information...and I prayed for God's discernment...

"Trust in the Lord with ALL your heart and lean not on your own understanding.  In all ways, acknowledge Him, and He will make your path straight."  Proverbs 3:5